White Red

Mr White Van Man

On the way to school. Cruising gently along at 30mph on a busy school road with

children, pushchairs and dogs spilling onto the road and yet with all these hazards around,

you know – you just know that the White Van Man will rear his ugly head and try and

ram it up the arse of your car!

 

He’s waiting for us…

 

My baby is alseep in the back of the car and my daughter strapped in tight but still

dancing with Saint Vitus as she waves at her friends and hollers their name from the window.

 

I can see him in my rear-view mirror…Careering towards us..far too fast..

 

Nevermind that the brave and the daring and the just plain stupid ahead are being flashed by police cameras for exceeding the speed limit.

Breaking gently, as lights turn amber..

Nevermind that I can see the lollipop lady preparing her kids for the intrepid

journey from South to North across the road.

 

He is still up the arse-end of my car!

 

I’m gritting my teeth and trying not to react to the danger my young family is being placed in…

 

I can see you smoking your fag, and shoving your face with a bacon bap and tomato

sauce oozing out onto your chin and falling to your belly.

 

How your van ever passed its MOT will always fail me.

 

Ode to Mr White Van Man

Mr White Van Man

Shave your face and brush your teeth

Wash your pits right underneath

File your nails and brush your hair

and then groom your derriere.

 

Mr White Van Man

Leave your cigarettes at home,

your bacon bap and mobile phone.

Take a breath and a moment,

Are you going to be a gent?

 

Mr White Van Man

Pull out your van so gentily

From my rearview, smile at me,

Not too close now, give me space

This school run is not a race.

 

Thanks to all burger suppliers, garages, van leasing suppliers and others who helped the White Van Man evolve into such a creature.

 

From a fed up mum!

 

White And Red (St. Johns University Anthem) Video – Will Smooth

Vinturi Essential Wine Aerator Wine needs to breathe to allow it to open up, release its intended aromas, and of course, make it taste better. Vinturi’s patent pending design speeds up this process by instantly aerating with ease and convenience. The perfect aeration in the time it takes to pour a glass of wine….

Oster BCBG08-C 6-Cup Glass Jar 8-Speed Blender, Brushed Nickel $39.50 Brought to you by the #1 Blender brand. A blender that’s anything but basic.Your life isn’t basic. Your blender shouldn’t be either. With this Oster blender you don’t have to sacrifice quality for simplicity. The large capacity, 6-cup glass jar is dishwasher safe and has been Thermal Shock tested so you can pull it out of a steamy dishwasher and safely make a frosty cold beverage right away. The s…

Cuisinart CPB-300 SmartPower 15-Piece Compact Portable Blending/Chopping System Meet the Cuisinart SmartPower Compact Portable Blender – the compact powerhouse that does it all! Use the streamline blending cup to make smoothies in a flash! Mince herbs in the chopper cup and whip up custom drinks right in the “To-Go” cups – we’ve included four of them so everyone can have their favorite! Designed of fit anywhere, the Compact Portable Blender delivers big blender performance wi…

It Might Get Loud [Blu-ray] $8.43 What happens when three of the world’s finest rock guitarists gather to discuss music? Find out in this engrossing documentary that brings together Led Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page, U2′s The Edge, and The White Stripes’ Jack White for a candid conversation about the impact that the invention of the electric guitar has had on society as well as their lives and careers. 98 min. Widescreen (Enhanced); Sound…

It Might Get Loud $8.42 The Sony DVD It Might Get Loud is an epic, exhilarating backstage pass into the world of rock stars. There are guitar players, and then there are rock stars. Over the course of one day, three generations of electric guitar phenoms come together, crank up their amps, and let it roll.Documentarian Davis Guggenheim gives us so much more than an all-star jam session (that alone would make even the gna…

Elephant $7.66 No Description Available.Genre: Popular MusicMedia Format: Compact DiskRating: Release Date: 1-JUL-2008…

Frigidaire FRA052XT7 5,000-BTU Mini Window Air Conditioner $109.99 Frigidaire FRA052XT7 5,000 BTU Mini Window Air Conditioner…

Streamlight 73001 Nano Light Miniature Keychain LED Flashlight, Black $3.50 FEATURES Easily attaches to just about anything with pocket clip or key ring: 1 Up to 8 hours run time: 2 Machined aircraft grade aluminum with anodized finish: 3 Uses 4 alkaline button cell batteries included: 4 White LED bulb with 10 lumens: 5 Weatherproof: 6 Includes a non-rotating snap hook for easy one handed operation when atta…

Kidde KN-COSM-B Battery-Operated Combination Carbon Monoxide and Smoke Alarm with Talking Alarm $64.97 The Kidde KN-COSM-B Battery-Operated Carbon Monoxide and Smoke Alarm combines two important safety devices into a single unit. This alarm includes a voice warning system that announces “Fire, Carbon Monoxide, Low Battery, or Smart Hush Activation.” The voice alarm eliminates any confusion and clearly warns you and your family of a smoke or carbon monoxide danger, or if your battery is in need of r…

Toy Story 3 $9.99 The creative minds behind Disney-Pixar’s groundbreaking animated blockbusters invite you back inside the toy box for a heartwarming and hilarious movie experience you’ll never forget. In TOY STORY 3, Woody (voiced by Tom Hanks), Buzz Lightyear (voiced by Tim Allen) and the rest of the TOY STORY gang return for an all-new adventure, along with a few new faces — some plastic, some plush — includin…