German Glass

England’s Manager Needs To Buy Himself A Better Pair Of Glasses

Perhaps as expected, England are now officially out of the 2010 Fifa World Cup. You wouldn’t imagine that there are too many people out there who are shocked, give our previous performances? Yes, this was meant to be our golden generation, and yes, we had a goal disallowed when it was so far over the line even that moron wearing sunglasses in the midst of the crowd could see it. But would you say we should have won, that we deserved to win? No, we really didn’t.

Germany simply outplayed us and made the much-hyped England team look like a Sunday league team for the most part. What is really troubling most people however, is how we were set up for this game, and the previous games, by our illustrious manager.

During our qualifying campaign, England were extremely good; hammering teams left, right and center and giving the nation real hope of their World Cup calibre. So what happened after the qualifiers to make us play so poorly? Fabio Capello happened. He decided to change the team from the one that had been so consistently brilliant in the run-up to the finals. Let’s take England vs. Croatia in the qualifying rounds for example, we hammered them and who were the best two players; Theo Walcott and Joe Cole. For some reason though, Fabio decided to give Cole only around 20-30 mins throughout the whole tournament, and left Theo Walcott out of the squad all together.

I’d like to know which England team he’s actually watching, because it seems he should be getting himself looked at for better prescription glasses, because he’s seeing something the rest of us just aren’t. For example, i’d like to know what Capello sees in Heskey; the striker who can’t score. He should be in the Wizard of Oz; the lion, tinman, scarecrow and the donkey. Capello argues he brings the best out of Wayne Rooney. Does he? When was that then? The last person I saw spend 42 days in a box and do as little as Wayne Rooney was David Blaine.

Then there’s the situation of our formation. The whole country was screaming for the 4-5-1 played by most of the premier league, with Steven Gerrard playing off Wayne Rooney. But it would appear the England manager needs a decent hearing aid as well as much better glasses, because he insisted on playing Gerrard on the left in a 4-4-2 formation.

I for one, want Stuart Pearce to manage England. We can’t get any worse on the pitch, and if there’s anyone who can inspire passion in the team, it’s psycho. Bring on 2014.

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