Badger Colored

How can I help my grandparents understand their remarks about other people and myself are inappropriate?

My grandparents are older people granted but they say things that would raise any of our eye brows. I’ll give a small description but believe me these things offend me too. They refer to disabled people as Mongoloid, darker complexion people as colored and then use mock accents and slang to make fun of them. They constantly badger me that I talk to much (I honestly don’t, plus I don’t seem them that often) to a point where I got so upset today that I cried, she asked my husband how he deals with such a talkative wife (He loves me and does not care). I just get so exasperated because they don’t think their doing anything wrong. What can I say to make this stop?
My husband just keeps his mouth shut (sometimes silence is golden) and smiles or says “I don’t mind she always knows what’s good for me” He is not their number one fan.

There’s nothing you can do to change people or the way they behave, only how you react to it. You can try to laugh it off, or you can refuse to be treated disrespectfully. When they say mean things to you, leave. They may get the idea after a few episodes. Or not. But grandparents or not, you’re an adult and can just go home. Don’t be rude. Say, “We have to go now” and do it. If they ask why tell them you don’t want to be there anymore. My grandmother gave me a lot of grief about my weight. I wasn’t fat, but my sisters were really skinny and she was comparing me to them. They were size one and three, and I was a size seven. I was also older and she was comparing and adult to a teenager and a child. I refused to go to a few family dinners and explained that I don’t want to be with people who constantly criticize every bite I take. She did stop.

My cousin had a major problem with her father’s choice of words. His father, our grandfather, was the same way. She finally told him that if he wanted to continue to see his grandson, he’d stop using the language they found so offensive. After a few months, he promised to watch him mouth, and he did to a point.

Some people behave in an ignorant manner, and you have to deal with it the best way you can…tolerate it or protest. If it means you have to avoid your family for a while, you may have to make the choice.

It doesn’t sound any better with Italian accents.

A few of my short colored penic sketches. Few short drawings.

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